Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir
Irvin D. Yalom
Bestselling writer and psychotherapist Irvin D. Yalom puts himself on the couch in a “candid, insightful” (Abraham Verghese) memoir Irvin D. Yalom has made a career of investigating the lives of others. In this profound memoir, he turns his writing and his therapeutic eye on himself. He opens his story with a He is twelve, and is riding his bike past the home of an acne-scarred girl. Like every morning, he calls out, hoping to befriend her, "Hello Measles!" But in his dream, the girl's father makes Yalom understand that his daily greeting had hurt her. For Yalom, this was the birth of empathy; he would not forget the lesson. As Becoming Myself unfolds, we see the birth of the insightful thinker whose books have been a beacon to so many. This is not simply a man's life story, Yalom's reflections on his life and development are an invitation for us to reflect on the origins of our own selves and the meanings of our lives.
- Genres Psychology Memoir Nonfiction Biography Autobiography Philosophy Mental Health
350 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 3, 2017
About the author
Irvin D. Yalom
83 books8,947 followersIrvin David Yalom, M.D., is an author of fiction and nonfiction, Emeritus Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University, an existentialist, and accomplished psychotherapist.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 663 reviews
Petra: hiatus, finding it hard to communicate
January 4, 2018
Dr. Yalom makes some interesting points about diagnoses. (He is talking about patients who don't need the heavy drugs often prescribed for any mental issue whether they are really appropriate or not). He says that, "Diagnostic categories are invented and arbitrary: they are a product of committee vote and invariably undergo considerable revision," and that they are subject to social pressure and what the insurance companies want. He says that people are diagnosed by what the insurance companies will pay out on rather than the diffuse problems a person might be having.
If you think of people with bi-polar disorder, this varies (in my personal experience with close friends) from people (like my grandfather) who need hospitalising because he would sleep for a month, getting up only for the necessaries, and wouldn't speak to people to neurotic people who get depressed and cry whenever things don't go their way. They are told they are bipolar because Americans are always running off to the doctor for pills and therapy if they have insurance cover from their employers (as encouraged by tv commercials which do their best to get people to self-diagnose and then go to their doctor and ask for the medication).
Bush in his great wisdom allowed drug companies to charge whatever they wanted. When I was in Florida, couldn't get home because of Irma, I had to get my prescription through Walgreen's. At home the two medications come to $20 a month (with no insurance) in Florida it was $250! And doctors are visited regularly by drug company representatives who give them all kind of kickbacks for prescribing their drugs.
Dr. Yalom feels that education in the field of psychology, again under the pressure of insurance companies, but also accreditation boards, consists of very brief, "empirically validated" therapies with specific techniques in addressing certain diagnostic categories, as " depression, eating disorder, panic attacks, bipolar disease, addictions, or specific phobias." There is no emphasis on looking at the patient in a humanistic, holistic way and there is no emphasis on the relationship between a therapist and patient, which, to him, is the crucial factor in determining the outcome of therapy.
This is why I read Yalom and why I give more credence to existential psychotherapy than the ridiculousness of Freud or Jung. I have no time for "penis envy" and Oedipal complexes when I am feeling miserable and lonely without a best friend after she proved to be far less than that during Irma and Maria. We were friends for 20 years and it hard to lose someone that close and think of the future without them. That is an existential crisis, we all lose friends and lovers, it is not one that needs medication but a doctor will fit me into a category, probably "depression" and then prescribe the appropriate drugs because that is what the insurance companies approve of, rather than a talking therapy that will cost more.
There was a moment of epiphany when Yalom was talking about Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor/philosopher. Marcus Aurelius said that if you had no opinion about something, it couldn't hurt you. So I thought if I don't think the really rather awful behaviour my friend exhibited towards me and my family was directed at us in a malicious way, it was just what she did, if I refuse to interpret it personally, I just think instead, this is what she did, then I am no longer hurt by it. And I'm not but I'm still lonely.
Four and a half stars not rounded up because the long chapters devoted to him writing some of his fiction books (which I don't like) were tedious to read. Other than that, a wonderful read from an inspirational man.
_____
A rabbi had a conversation with the Lord about Heaven and Hell. “I will show you Hell,” said the Lord, and he led the rabbi into a room containing a large round table. The people sitting around the table were famished and desperate. In the middle of the table was an enormous pot of stew that smelled so delicious that the rabbi’s mouth watered. Each person around the table held a spoon with a very long handle. Although the long spoons just reached the pot, their handles were longer than the would-be diners’ arms: thus, unable to bring food to their lips, no one could eat. The rabbi saw that their suffering was terrible indeed.
“Now I will show you Heaven,” said the Lord, and they went into another room, exactly the same as the first. There was the same large round table, the same pot of stew. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons—but here everyone was well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The rabbi could not understand. “It is simple, but it requires a certain skill,” said the Lord. “In this room, you see, they have learned to feed each other.”
________________
Who would have guessed that the great existential psychotherapist, Dr. Yalom, ran a gambling book in school? He's such a romantic too, married his sweetheart from school who he took out on his very first date ever (and has been happily and gratefully married to her ever since).
I'm enjoying seeing another side to this wise man.
If you think of people with bi-polar disorder, this varies (in my personal experience with close friends) from people (like my grandfather) who need hospitalising because he would sleep for a month, getting up only for the necessaries, and wouldn't speak to people to neurotic people who get depressed and cry whenever things don't go their way. They are told they are bipolar because Americans are always running off to the doctor for pills and therapy if they have insurance cover from their employers (as encouraged by tv commercials which do their best to get people to self-diagnose and then go to their doctor and ask for the medication).
Bush in his great wisdom allowed drug companies to charge whatever they wanted. When I was in Florida, couldn't get home because of Irma, I had to get my prescription through Walgreen's. At home the two medications come to $20 a month (with no insurance) in Florida it was $250! And doctors are visited regularly by drug company representatives who give them all kind of kickbacks for prescribing their drugs.
Dr. Yalom feels that education in the field of psychology, again under the pressure of insurance companies, but also accreditation boards, consists of very brief, "empirically validated" therapies with specific techniques in addressing certain diagnostic categories, as " depression, eating disorder, panic attacks, bipolar disease, addictions, or specific phobias." There is no emphasis on looking at the patient in a humanistic, holistic way and there is no emphasis on the relationship between a therapist and patient, which, to him, is the crucial factor in determining the outcome of therapy.
This is why I read Yalom and why I give more credence to existential psychotherapy than the ridiculousness of Freud or Jung. I have no time for "penis envy" and Oedipal complexes when I am feeling miserable and lonely without a best friend after she proved to be far less than that during Irma and Maria. We were friends for 20 years and it hard to lose someone that close and think of the future without them. That is an existential crisis, we all lose friends and lovers, it is not one that needs medication but a doctor will fit me into a category, probably "depression" and then prescribe the appropriate drugs because that is what the insurance companies approve of, rather than a talking therapy that will cost more.
There was a moment of epiphany when Yalom was talking about Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor/philosopher. Marcus Aurelius said that if you had no opinion about something, it couldn't hurt you. So I thought if I don't think the really rather awful behaviour my friend exhibited towards me and my family was directed at us in a malicious way, it was just what she did, if I refuse to interpret it personally, I just think instead, this is what she did, then I am no longer hurt by it. And I'm not but I'm still lonely.
Four and a half stars not rounded up because the long chapters devoted to him writing some of his fiction books (which I don't like) were tedious to read. Other than that, a wonderful read from an inspirational man.
_____
A rabbi had a conversation with the Lord about Heaven and Hell. “I will show you Hell,” said the Lord, and he led the rabbi into a room containing a large round table. The people sitting around the table were famished and desperate. In the middle of the table was an enormous pot of stew that smelled so delicious that the rabbi’s mouth watered. Each person around the table held a spoon with a very long handle. Although the long spoons just reached the pot, their handles were longer than the would-be diners’ arms: thus, unable to bring food to their lips, no one could eat. The rabbi saw that their suffering was terrible indeed.
“Now I will show you Heaven,” said the Lord, and they went into another room, exactly the same as the first. There was the same large round table, the same pot of stew. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons—but here everyone was well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The rabbi could not understand. “It is simple, but it requires a certain skill,” said the Lord. “In this room, you see, they have learned to feed each other.”
________________
Who would have guessed that the great existential psychotherapist, Dr. Yalom, ran a gambling book in school? He's such a romantic too, married his sweetheart from school who he took out on his very first date ever (and has been happily and gratefully married to her ever since).
I'm enjoying seeing another side to this wise man.
EMMA
November 13, 2021
آیا آن زندگی بود؟ خب، پس یکبار دیگر!
یالوم تو این کتاب از خاطرات بچگیش تعریف میکنه تا زمان پیری. اما خب طبیعتا همه چیز رو نگفته و از یه سری مسائل سرسری رد شده، مثل طلاق چهارتا بچش.فقط در حد یه جمله گفت.
ولی میدونید چی واسم جالب بود؟ اینکه یالوم چقدر زنشو دوس داشته!! یالوم واسه اینکه به مریلین برسه صبح تا شب درس خونده که بتونه بره مدرسه پزشکی که بتونه فرد پولداری بشه که بتونه باهاش ازدواج کنه!!! و از همه مهمتر واسم جالب بود که اصلا بهش خیانت نکرده بود، حقیقتشو بگم بچه ها از بس خیانت دیدم واقعا وقتی میبینم یکی خیانت نمیکنه تعجب میکنم!!!
خود افشا گری هاشو دوس داشتم. مثلا به پوکر اعتیاد داشت یا اینکه توهم زا با زنش زده بود :دی
از همه مهمتر از ترس و اضطرابش از مرگ. میگه واسه اینکه کار با بیماران سرطانی انتخاب کردم که بتونم مرگ بهتر لمس کنم. با اینکه هرچی سنش بیشتر میشد ولی ترسش از مرگ کم نمیشد.
از همه جالبتر اینکه طرف هیچ ابایی نداشت بگه چندین بار تو زندگیش رفته پیش روانکاو.
اونجاها رو هم دوست داشتم که در مورد شکل گیری ایده کتابهاش و نحوه نگارشش میگفت و اینکه چطوری خودشو تو کتابها زنده میکرد میگفت. از سفرهاش گفت از ماجراجویی هاش.
حتی از اینکه چطوری با تکنولوژی کنار اومده و اینکه مثلا وقتی اولین بیمارشو با اسکایپ داشت چقدر واسش جالب بود.
در کل من دوسش داشتم و پیشنهاد میشه اما به شرطی که کتابهای قبلی یالوم رو خونده باشید.
یالوم تو این کتاب از خاطرات بچگیش تعریف میکنه تا زمان پیری. اما خب طبیعتا همه چیز رو نگفته و از یه سری مسائل سرسری رد شده، مثل طلاق چهارتا بچش.فقط در حد یه جمله گفت.
ولی میدونید چی واسم جالب بود؟ اینکه یالوم چقدر زنشو دوس داشته!! یالوم واسه اینکه به مریلین برسه صبح تا شب درس خونده که بتونه بره مدرسه پزشکی که بتونه فرد پولداری بشه که بتونه باهاش ازدواج کنه!!! و از همه مهمتر واسم جالب بود که اصلا بهش خیانت نکرده بود، حقیقتشو بگم بچه ها از بس خیانت دیدم واقعا وقتی میبینم یکی خیانت نمیکنه تعجب میکنم!!!
خود افشا گری هاشو دوس داشتم. مثلا به پوکر اعتیاد داشت یا اینکه توهم زا با زنش زده بود :دی
از همه مهمتر از ترس و اضطرابش از مرگ. میگه واسه اینکه کار با بیماران سرطانی انتخاب کردم که بتونم مرگ بهتر لمس کنم. با اینکه هرچی سنش بیشتر میشد ولی ترسش از مرگ کم نمیشد.
از همه جالبتر اینکه طرف هیچ ابایی نداشت بگه چندین بار تو زندگیش رفته پیش روانکاو.
اونجاها رو هم دوست داشتم که در مورد شکل گیری ایده کتابهاش و نحوه نگارشش میگفت و اینکه چطوری خودشو تو کتابها زنده میکرد میگفت. از سفرهاش گفت از ماجراجویی هاش.
حتی از اینکه چطوری با تکنولوژی کنار اومده و اینکه مثلا وقتی اولین بیمارشو با اسکایپ داشت چقدر واسش جالب بود.
در کل من دوسش داشتم و پیشنهاد میشه اما به شرطی که کتابهای قبلی یالوم رو خونده باشید.
October 11, 2017
I very much enjoyed this book, so I feel obliged to explain why only 3 stars. Yes, the author covers his career in psychiatry and psychotherapy from the 1950s to the 2000s and how the field and his own practice has changed. Yes, he discusses his marriage, his children and his travels. Yes, I enjoyed his stories and found myself reminded of my favorite educated grandfather.
But I found myself wanting more...likely I am used to biographers who are more indiscreet.
Irvin is ethical and I get the strong feeling that before writing anything negative about anyone he has checked with that person -- a great quality in a friend, but it makes for a less interesting biography.
I felt there was excessive name dropping and perhaps too much discussion on matters like the relative popularity of his books in different countries when he went on book tours.
He mentions briefly some interesting things, covers them in a sentence or two and then drops them. If you have read his other books and seen the documentary on him, you will notice repetition of ideas, stories and themes. Some of that is to be expected, however I was hoping for more depth.
That said, if his wife ever writes her autobiography, I'd be interested in her perspective.
But I found myself wanting more...likely I am used to biographers who are more indiscreet.
Irvin is ethical and I get the strong feeling that before writing anything negative about anyone he has checked with that person -- a great quality in a friend, but it makes for a less interesting biography.
I felt there was excessive name dropping and perhaps too much discussion on matters like the relative popularity of his books in different countries when he went on book tours.
He mentions briefly some interesting things, covers them in a sentence or two and then drops them. If you have read his other books and seen the documentary on him, you will notice repetition of ideas, stories and themes. Some of that is to be expected, however I was hoping for more depth.
That said, if his wife ever writes her autobiography, I'd be interested in her perspective.
Nada Elshabrawy
January 7, 2023
كتاب مذهل. خير ختام للعام.
مراجعة مصورة للكتاب
https://youtu.be/NnMXvqCUQ9w
مراجعة مصورة للكتاب
https://youtu.be/NnMXvqCUQ9w
Farimah
October 8, 2019
نیمه اول کتاب که بیشتر مربوط به وقایع زندگی دکتر یالوم هست برام جذابیتی نداشت به ندرت پیش میاومد که نکته خاصی بگه ولی چیزی که برام جالب بود اینه که در تمام زندگیش اروین یالوم به دنبال علاقه اش رفت. هر کاری که کرد رو با عشق انجام داد و بیشتر سعی کرد که در لحظه زندگی کنه.اینقد عاشق کارش هست که تا آخرین لحظه ای که فکر میکنه میتونه کمک کنه به کارش ادامه میده
بارها و بارها خود افشاگری میکنه و حتی توی کتاب بیان میکنه که در روابطش با بیمارهاش هم برای گرفتن نتیجه بهتر گاهی به خودافشاگری دست میزنه.
نیمه دوم کتاب که به آثارش و این که ایده ی هر کتاب چجوری به ذهنش اومد و برای نوشتن هر کتاب چه دغدغه هایی داشته اشاره میکنه برای من جذاب تر بود و منو ترغیب کرد که کتابهای دیگرش رو هم بخونم.
به نظرم خوندن بخش مربوط به هر کتاب قبل از خوندنش میتونه دید خوبی به آدم بده
مسالهای که اروین یالوم باهاش درگیره ترسش از مرگه و معتقده که ما هر چقدر به مرگ نزدیکتر میشیم چیزی که باعث آرامشمون میتونه باشه اینه که از فرصتهامون استفاده کرده باشیم
یه مفهوم جالبی رو بیان میکنه به اسم
"موج انداختن" : هر یک از ما، اغلب بیآنکه بدانیم، دوایر متحدالمرکزی از تاثیر پدید میآوریم که اثرش تا سالها و حتی نسلها بر دیگران باقی میماند. تاثیری که بر دیگران میگذاریم، مثل ریزموجهای یک دریاچه به دیگران منتقل میشود و پیش میرود تا جایی که دیگر قابل دیدن نیست ولی هنوز در سطح یکبیلیونیوم ادامه دارد
شگفت انگیز نیست که بخوایم اینطوری به زندگی نگاه کنیم؟ اینکه هر عملی که ما انجام میدیم چطور میتونه تو آینده نسل بعدمون تاثیر بگذاره؟ اگر همیشه این مفهوم رو تو ذهنمون نگه داریم چقدر روی اعمالمون میتونه تاثیر داشته باشه؟
پیام این کتاب برای من این بوده که به همین لحظه ای که توش هستی توجه کن و از مسیر لذت ببر و دنبال کاری برو که دوستش داری و همیشه از وقت و فرصتت به بهترین شکل ممکن استفاده کن و سعی کن تاثیرات مثبتی تو این جهان ایجاد کنی...چرا که فرصت ما برای زندگی محدوده و باید کمال استفاده رو ازش ببریم
بارها و بارها خود افشاگری میکنه و حتی توی کتاب بیان میکنه که در روابطش با بیمارهاش هم برای گرفتن نتیجه بهتر گاهی به خودافشاگری دست میزنه.
نیمه دوم کتاب که به آثارش و این که ایده ی هر کتاب چجوری به ذهنش اومد و برای نوشتن هر کتاب چه دغدغه هایی داشته اشاره میکنه برای من جذاب تر بود و منو ترغیب کرد که کتابهای دیگرش رو هم بخونم.
به نظرم خوندن بخش مربوط به هر کتاب قبل از خوندنش میتونه دید خوبی به آدم بده
مسالهای که اروین یالوم باهاش درگیره ترسش از مرگه و معتقده که ما هر چقدر به مرگ نزدیکتر میشیم چیزی که باعث آرامشمون میتونه باشه اینه که از فرصتهامون استفاده کرده باشیم
یه مفهوم جالبی رو بیان میکنه به اسم
"موج انداختن" : هر یک از ما، اغلب بیآنکه بدانیم، دوایر متحدالمرکزی از تاثیر پدید میآوریم که اثرش تا سالها و حتی نسلها بر دیگران باقی میماند. تاثیری که بر دیگران میگذاریم، مثل ریزموجهای یک دریاچه به دیگران منتقل میشود و پیش میرود تا جایی که دیگر قابل دیدن نیست ولی هنوز در سطح یکبیلیونیوم ادامه دارد
شگفت انگیز نیست که بخوایم اینطوری به زندگی نگاه کنیم؟ اینکه هر عملی که ما انجام میدیم چطور میتونه تو آینده نسل بعدمون تاثیر بگذاره؟ اگر همیشه این مفهوم رو تو ذهنمون نگه داریم چقدر روی اعمالمون میتونه تاثیر داشته باشه؟
پیام این کتاب برای من این بوده که به همین لحظه ای که توش هستی توجه کن و از مسیر لذت ببر و دنبال کاری برو که دوستش داری و همیشه از وقت و فرصتت به بهترین شکل ممکن استفاده کن و سعی کن تاثیرات مثبتی تو این جهان ایجاد کنی...چرا که فرصت ما برای زندگی محدوده و باید کمال استفاده رو ازش ببریم
Skorofido Skorofido
Read
September 19, 2018Έχω διαβάσει σχεδόν όλα τα βιβλία του Γιάλομ που έχουν κυκλοφορήσει στην ελληνική αγορά (μου έχουν ξεφύγει τα αυστηρώς ψυχοθεραπευτικά, μην γίνει και καμιά στραβή κι έρθω στα ίσια μου…). Τα λατρεύω όλα, ακόμα και αυτά που δεν θεωρώ και από τα πιο πετυχημένα του. Από κάθε βιβλίο του, έχω πάρει και κάτι. Δεν υπήρχε λοιπόν περίπτωση να μην τρέξω ν’αγοράσω το τελευταίο του (τελευταίο απ΄όσο φαίνεται απ΄όλες τις απόψεις, με την έννοια πως μάλλον δεν θα γράψει άλλο κατά τη δήλωση του και πιο πρόσφατο σε κυκλοφορία). Η αυτογραφία του. Λάθος, δεν είναι αυτοβιογραφία. Απλώς αυτοβιογραφικά αποσπάσματα, λείπουν πολλά σημαντικά στοιχεία για να χαρακτηριστεί ως αυτοβιογραφικό.
Ο Γιάλομ εδώ παρουσιάζει διάφορα περιστατικά από την παιδική του ηλικία, από τις σπουδές του, από την καριέρα του, από τη συγγραφή των βιβλίων του, από τις αγωνίες του. Αποσπασματικά. Τα περισσότερα από αυτά είναι ήδη γνωστά σε όλους εμάς που ανήκουμε στο fun club του, τα έχει ξαναγράψει κάπου κάποτε. Από την άλλη, εάν πάρεις το συγκεκριμένο βιβλίο για να μπεις για πρώτη φορά στον κόσμο του Γιάλομ, είναι μια λανθασμένη επιλογή. Δ��άλεξε κάτι άλλο, τον Νίτσε ή τον Σοπενάουερ, ή έστω τον Επίκουρο.
Από άποψη, δεν βαθμολογώ τα αυτοβιογραφικά βιβλία κι αυτό με κάνει να αισθάνομαι μια ηρεμία γιατί δεν θα αναγκαστώ να δαγκώσω έναν άνθρωπο – συγγραφέα που αγαπάω. Βρήκα πολλές επαναλήψεις γεγονότων από προηγούμενα βιβλία του, πολύ name dropping ψυχιάτρων και ψυχοθεραπευτών που δεν έβαζαν ένα λιθαράκι στο βιβλίο πέρα από το γεγονός πως ήταν φίλοι του Γιάλομ, ολίγον σουπερφίσιαλ και υπερφίαλον, ‘γράφω στα τροπικά νησιά, στις Σεϋχέλες, στις Μπαχάμες και όπου αλλού…’
Από τα γραφόμενά του, αντιλήφθηκα πως αν κάποιος έσωσε αυτό το γάμο και αυτή την καριέρα, ήταν η γυναίκα του η Μαίριλυν που αυτή τα ‘τράβηξε όλα’ ως γνήσια γυναίκα της γενιάς της που έπρεπε να είναι και δούλα και κυρά και να κάνει και μια καριέρα πανεπιστημιακού.
Ωστόσο αυτό που με ξένισε ιδιαίτερα είναι ένα απόσπασμα που περιγράφει πως είχε προβλήματα με το γάμο του και πως τα ξεπέρασαν αυτός και η γυναίκα του. Θεωρώ αδιανόητο το παρακάτω απόσπασμα, γραμμένο από τον γκουρού της υπαρξιακής ψυχοθεραπείας:
«…Ήταν η πιο δύσκολη περίοδος στη σχέση μας και συνέπεσε με την εποχή που βλεπόμασταν συχνά με τον Ρόλλο και την Τζώρτζια. Ένα βράδυ ο Ρόλλο, πάντα πρόθυμος να πειραματιστεί, μας κάλεσε στο σπίτι του να δοκιμάσουμε πολύ καλής ποιότητας ‘έκσταση’, το οποίο του το είχανε κάνει δώρο. Η Τζώρτζια αποφάσισε να απέχει και να εκτελέσει χρέη προστάτη συνοδού για τη βραδιά. Ούτε η Μαίριλυν ούτε εγώ είχαμε ποτέ ως τότε δοκιμάσει ‘έκσταση’, αισθανόμασταν όμως και οι δύο ασφαλείς με τον Ρόλλο και την Τζ��ρτζια, και η βραδιά αποδείχτηκε εξαιρετικά γλυκιά και ανακουφιστική. Αφού πήραμε το ‘έκσταση’, συζητήσαμε, δειπνήσαμε, ακούσαμε μουσική και ως σήμερα τόσο η Μαίριλυν όσο κι εγώ πιστεύουμε ότι τα συζυγικά μας προβλήματα εξανεμίστηκαν μ’ένα μαγικό τρόπο…Μια αλλαγή που διατηρήθηκε για πάντα!»
Μάλιστα… τι ψυχοθεραπείες μου τσαμπουνάτε τι συμβούλους γάμου, τι αυτογνωσίες, τι…τι…τι… ecstasy είναι η λύση καρδιά μου…
Υπήρξαν ωστόσο σημεία που ξαναβρήκα τον Γιάλομ που μίλησε στην καρδιά μου και κλείνοντας το βιβλίο, αισθάνθηκα ένα γλυκόπικρο συναίσθημα… Ξέρω πως δεν θα έχω να αναμένω κάτι δικό του καινούριο, να ψάχνω τον εαυτό μου πίσω από τις λέξεις του…
Αντίο doctor Yalom, σ’ευχαριστώ για όσα κάποτε μου χάρισες, ωστόσο δεν μπορώ να μην κρύψω μια μικρή απογοήτευση από το αποχαιρετιστήριο βιβλίο σου…
Ο Γιάλομ εδώ παρουσιάζει διάφορα περιστατικά από την παιδική του ηλικία, από τις σπουδές του, από την καριέρα του, από τη συγγραφή των βιβλίων του, από τις αγωνίες του. Αποσπασματικά. Τα περισσότερα από αυτά είναι ήδη γνωστά σε όλους εμάς που ανήκουμε στο fun club του, τα έχει ξαναγράψει κάπου κάποτε. Από την άλλη, εάν πάρεις το συγκεκριμένο βιβλίο για να μπεις για πρώτη φορά στον κόσμο του Γιάλομ, είναι μια λανθασμένη επιλογή. Δ��άλεξε κάτι άλλο, τον Νίτσε ή τον Σοπενάουερ, ή έστω τον Επίκουρο.
Από άποψη, δεν βαθμολογώ τα αυτοβιογραφικά βιβλία κι αυτό με κάνει να αισθάνομαι μια ηρεμία γιατί δεν θα αναγκαστώ να δαγκώσω έναν άνθρωπο – συγγραφέα που αγαπάω. Βρήκα πολλές επαναλήψεις γεγονότων από προηγούμενα βιβλία του, πολύ name dropping ψυχιάτρων και ψυχοθεραπευτών που δεν έβαζαν ένα λιθαράκι στο βιβλίο πέρα από το γεγονός πως ήταν φίλοι του Γιάλομ, ολίγον σουπερφίσιαλ και υπερφίαλον, ‘γράφω στα τροπικά νησιά, στις Σεϋχέλες, στις Μπαχάμες και όπου αλλού…’
Από τα γραφόμενά του, αντιλήφθηκα πως αν κάποιος έσωσε αυτό το γάμο και αυτή την καριέρα, ήταν η γυναίκα του η Μαίριλυν που αυτή τα ‘τράβηξε όλα’ ως γνήσια γυναίκα της γενιάς της που έπρεπε να είναι και δούλα και κυρά και να κάνει και μια καριέρα πανεπιστημιακού.
Ωστόσο αυτό που με ξένισε ιδιαίτερα είναι ένα απόσπασμα που περιγράφει πως είχε προβλήματα με το γάμο του και πως τα ξεπέρασαν αυτός και η γυναίκα του. Θεωρώ αδιανόητο το παρακάτω απόσπασμα, γραμμένο από τον γκουρού της υπαρξιακής ψυχοθεραπείας:
«…Ήταν η πιο δύσκολη περίοδος στη σχέση μας και συνέπεσε με την εποχή που βλεπόμασταν συχνά με τον Ρόλλο και την Τζώρτζια. Ένα βράδυ ο Ρόλλο, πάντα πρόθυμος να πειραματιστεί, μας κάλεσε στο σπίτι του να δοκιμάσουμε πολύ καλής ποιότητας ‘έκσταση’, το οποίο του το είχανε κάνει δώρο. Η Τζώρτζια αποφάσισε να απέχει και να εκτελέσει χρέη προστάτη συνοδού για τη βραδιά. Ούτε η Μαίριλυν ούτε εγώ είχαμε ποτέ ως τότε δοκιμάσει ‘έκσταση’, αισθανόμασταν όμως και οι δύο ασφαλείς με τον Ρόλλο και την Τζ��ρτζια, και η βραδιά αποδείχτηκε εξαιρετικά γλυκιά και ανακουφιστική. Αφού πήραμε το ‘έκσταση’, συζητήσαμε, δειπνήσαμε, ακούσαμε μουσική και ως σήμερα τόσο η Μαίριλυν όσο κι εγώ πιστεύουμε ότι τα συζυγικά μας προβλήματα εξανεμίστηκαν μ’ένα μαγικό τρόπο…Μια αλλαγή που διατηρήθηκε για πάντα!»
Μάλιστα… τι ψυχοθεραπείες μου τσαμπουνάτε τι συμβούλους γάμου, τι αυτογνωσίες, τι…τι…τι… ecstasy είναι η λύση καρδιά μου…
Υπήρξαν ωστόσο σημεία που ξαναβρήκα τον Γιάλομ που μίλησε στην καρδιά μου και κλείνοντας το βιβλίο, αισθάνθηκα ένα γλυκόπικρο συναίσθημα… Ξέρω πως δεν θα έχω να αναμένω κάτι δικό του καινούριο, να ψάχνω τον εαυτό μου πίσω από τις λέξεις του…
Αντίο doctor Yalom, σ’ευχαριστώ για όσα κάποτε μου χάρισες, ωστόσο δεν μπορώ να μην κρύψω μια μικρή απογοήτευση από το αποχαιρετιστήριο βιβλίο σου…
Mandana Shadi
July 19, 2020
And finally 🤩
نمیدونم چرا انقدر اتمام این کتاب طول کشید .
یادم باشه حتما یک ریویو بنویسم 😊
نمیدونم چرا انقدر اتمام این کتاب طول کشید .
یادم باشه حتما یک ریویو بنویسم 😊
Nima Morgan
March 1, 2021
I have read all of Dr. Yalom's books and I have really enjoyed all of them. After reading his memoir I would now like to go back and read all of his books again!! I truly enjoyed reading how rich his life is, and how he has lived it to its fullest potential. A true life without regrets. Enjoyed reading how he came up with the ideas for his books and feel truly enriched that he shared so much about himself.
I hope Dr. Yalom continues to write.
I hope Dr. Yalom continues to write.
Algernon (Darth Anyan)
March 2, 2022
My client’s memories more often trigger my own, my work on their future calls upon and disturbs my past, and I find myself reconsidering my own story.
Irvin Yalom’s lifetime professional achievements, his published books and his collection of important accolades received from both the psychiatric and literary societies speak for themselves: the praise is well deserved and hard-earned. How come his biography turned into such a slog for me? This was one of the most unappealing books I read in recent times. After almost every chapter, I put the book aside in order to read something else and, if not for this being a group read project, I would have abandoned the lecture after the opening chapters.
In the interest of full disclosure, these problems can probably be blamed on my ingrained skepticism about psychotherapy, as I became familiar with it through literature and cinema. So I was willing to expand my horizons and do a more in-depth exploration, but this memoir turned out to be not the best material about the profession. As the title should have warned me, the book is a biography of the author, with heavy emphasis on childhood, years of study, career projects, novels published and many, many holidays in exotic locations. The actual information about psychotherapy and the interpretation of new trends from the author’s perspective is mentioned mostly as a recommendation to read the other manuals and novels published by the author, with only a brief synopsis provided here.
>>><<<>>><<<
Me and Mr. Yalom started on the wrong foot right from the very first chapter, recounting a childhood dream from the perspective of the 85 years old narrator. As a person who has extreme difficulty remembering what he dreamt about five minutes after waking, I found the clarity of the childhood memories presented suspect. I do agree with the need to stress the importance of ‘empathy’ in a professional caregiver and felt it was the right way to start the lecture, but it made me doubly suspicious of the author’s candour.
The following pages reinforced this first impression of carefully rearranged facts to fit a narrative drive, and I know by the last page that Mr. Yalom is well aware of what he is doing. Almost every time I made a note of something fishy, it turns out a few chapters later or even in the closing remarks that he comes clean about his little ‘teaching tales’ and how useful they are to underline an idea. Here’s an example:
Looking back now, I feel tenderness for that lonely, frightened, determined young boy, and awe that he somehow made his way through his self-education, albeit haphazardly, without encouragement, models, or guidance.
A lot of his childhood memories are used to reinforce an image of hardship and loneliness, the myth of the self-made man that has risen above the squalor of roaches, rats, drunks, racists, bullies, etc. to the highest peaks of his chosen field. These details often clash with the actual biographical details that slip through the narrative [his father was a successful business man, his mother loved him, he went to some of the best schools in the country, he married his highschool sweetheart and they had an uneventful, beautiful relationship with career success and many children and grandchildren]. Later in the memoir the author admits:
I know it’s time to discard my notion that I am entirely self-created.
and, In many ways I have been insulated from hardship.
and, This all sounds plausible and makes for a satisfying narrative. How powerful is our drive to fill gestalts and to fashion neatly composed stories! But was it true?
The pattern is repeated throughout his illustrious career, something that I feel the need to repeat is the result of hard work, dedication, ambition and a talent for communicating clearly and effectively. The closest approximation I have for Mr. Yalom, after checking out at the end of the book some of the references to existential psychotherapy he made [Alex Comfort, Viktor Frankl, Rollo May, Oliver Sacks] is that his main merit in not so much in breaking new ground in the field as in the successful promotion and application of the principles defined by his peers. Something along the lines of Isaac Asimov for hard science or David Attenborough for ecology. Which is high praise when you consider how well known these motivational speakers are. Mr. Yalom has excelled in early studies in group therapy, in changing the perception of the doctor as a cold, analytic observer and in writing teaching manuals and literary novels about psychotherapy. Based on his own account, he also seems to spend more time on the conference circuit than in his cabinet. He himself, towards the end of his career, sees his literary efforts as more, or at least equally important, as his work with patients.
... my experience in leading therapy groups turned out to be therapeutic, not only for my patients but for me as well: it greatly increased my comfort in group situations.
Learning more about group therapy was a primary interest in picking up the memoir. I did have some already made ideas about the importance of social interactions and probably looked only for confirmation bias in the account. I don’t think you need a degree in psychotherapy or years of research to discover that most of our modern problems are driven by loneliness and that the solution is often to rely on your circle of friends.
In general, though, his work helped me understand that most of our patients fall into despair because of their inability to establish and maintain nurturing interpersonal relationships.
or, ... the group offers comradeship, supervision, postgraduate learning, personal growth, and, occasionally, crisis intervention. I strongly encourage other therapists to create a group such as ours.
Ultimately, what is such a leaderless therapy group other than the close friends that you gather in a lifetime and that you can rely upon in your time of need? I know not all of us are lucky in this matter, and even if I do not consider psychotherapy to be major science, I do believe the guidelines established for group therapy and the many studies performed in a controlled ecosystem are useful to those who really need help.
Yalom himself considered throughout his career that he was as much in need of therapy as some of his patients (although I have my own suspicions that this was more in the nature of research than actual anxiety). Starting with his residency years until the time he wrote this memoir Mr Yalom has chosen to undergo therapy in an effort to grow as a person and to receive unbiased feedback about his life choices. Which sort of explains the title of the memoir and the choice of a lapidary image on the cover: becoming ourselves, being comfortable in our own skins is an effort of a lifetime, and you really need to know yourself before starting to advise others about the meaning of life.
Slowly I began to understand that, since the therapist’s chief professional tool is his or her own person, self-disclosure of personal shortcomings felt doubly risky: not only might one’s character be judged, but one’s professional competence as well.
or, I felt so isolated, unappreciated, and uneasy in my skin that year that I decided to find a therapist for myself, as I’ve done at various difficult points throughout my life.
>>><<<>>><<<
The second major breakthrough in Mr. Yalom’s career has to do with existentialism. The author sort of claims he introduced this concept into mainstream therapy, although I believe his friends and mentors Rollo May or Viktor Frankl would beg to differ. Mr. Yalom still has a valid claim on the most widely used manual in North America on the subject, whose succesful and multiple revised editions speak volumes about his erudition.
More and more I grasped that many of the issues my patients struggled with – aging, loss, death, major life choices such as what profession to pursue or whom to marry – were often more cogently addressed by novelists and philosophers than by members of my own field.
I could have pointed out to the relevance of fiction in presenting and solving the problems in our daily lives before discovering Yalom. Once again, I feel common sense and an inquisitive mind are more important than a degree in psychotherapy, but I sort of enjoyed the numerous references the author makes to the books and the stories that shaped his life and informed his treatment decisions. These philosophers and storytellers are most probably the driving force in his career shift towards becoming a novelist, a field that has been as rewarding to him as his medical practice.
Through narrative, these writers had plumbed depths of existence in a way that psychiatric writing never seemed to have achieved.
and, All my life I have been a lover of narrative, and I have often smuggled therapy stories, some only a few lines long, some lasting a few pages, into my professional writing.
>>><<<>>><<<
Unfortunately, the last half of the memoir is dedicated to trivialities and self-congratulatory passages. Mr Yalom holiday recollections and his assortment of funny anecdotes from his travels hold little interest for me: Vespa adventures, hunting for ancient coins in Cyprus, experiments with drugs in Chiang Mai, meditation in an Indian ashram – funny party pieces that have been polished to a sparkle by repeated renderings in front of nephews or around the conference circuit until the line between fact and fiction disappears.
Similarly the details of how he came to write his novels, instead of discussing their substance I found less appealing than an in-depth discussion on psychoanalysis in modern times. By far the most annoying aspect of the memoir is the self promotion, a little aspect of the author’s pride that would have been more palatable coming from other people who knew him (and he doesn’t lack for groupies]. Even here, there is an acknowledgement that mr. Yalom is aware of the pitfalls of self-delusion in a passage where he describes a commentary that he made to Frankl in a review of a book by that celebrated analyst.
I replied, as gently as possible, that such heavy focus on applause deterred from his presentation and might lead some readers to conclude that he was overinvested in the applause. He wrote back immediately, saying, “Irv, you just won’t understand – you weren’t there: they DID rise and applaud five times.” Even the best of us are sometimes blinded by our wounds and our need for praise.
>>><<<>>><<<
In conclusion, I do not regret getting to know this eminent analyst, even as I struggled to get the end of his rambling memoir. My particular interest would have been better served by one of his other books, either one of his fictional novels or one of his collection of clinical tales.
Irvin Yalom’s lifetime professional achievements, his published books and his collection of important accolades received from both the psychiatric and literary societies speak for themselves: the praise is well deserved and hard-earned. How come his biography turned into such a slog for me? This was one of the most unappealing books I read in recent times. After almost every chapter, I put the book aside in order to read something else and, if not for this being a group read project, I would have abandoned the lecture after the opening chapters.
In the interest of full disclosure, these problems can probably be blamed on my ingrained skepticism about psychotherapy, as I became familiar with it through literature and cinema. So I was willing to expand my horizons and do a more in-depth exploration, but this memoir turned out to be not the best material about the profession. As the title should have warned me, the book is a biography of the author, with heavy emphasis on childhood, years of study, career projects, novels published and many, many holidays in exotic locations. The actual information about psychotherapy and the interpretation of new trends from the author’s perspective is mentioned mostly as a recommendation to read the other manuals and novels published by the author, with only a brief synopsis provided here.
>>><<<>>><<<
Me and Mr. Yalom started on the wrong foot right from the very first chapter, recounting a childhood dream from the perspective of the 85 years old narrator. As a person who has extreme difficulty remembering what he dreamt about five minutes after waking, I found the clarity of the childhood memories presented suspect. I do agree with the need to stress the importance of ‘empathy’ in a professional caregiver and felt it was the right way to start the lecture, but it made me doubly suspicious of the author’s candour.
The following pages reinforced this first impression of carefully rearranged facts to fit a narrative drive, and I know by the last page that Mr. Yalom is well aware of what he is doing. Almost every time I made a note of something fishy, it turns out a few chapters later or even in the closing remarks that he comes clean about his little ‘teaching tales’ and how useful they are to underline an idea. Here’s an example:
Looking back now, I feel tenderness for that lonely, frightened, determined young boy, and awe that he somehow made his way through his self-education, albeit haphazardly, without encouragement, models, or guidance.
A lot of his childhood memories are used to reinforce an image of hardship and loneliness, the myth of the self-made man that has risen above the squalor of roaches, rats, drunks, racists, bullies, etc. to the highest peaks of his chosen field. These details often clash with the actual biographical details that slip through the narrative [his father was a successful business man, his mother loved him, he went to some of the best schools in the country, he married his highschool sweetheart and they had an uneventful, beautiful relationship with career success and many children and grandchildren]. Later in the memoir the author admits:
I know it’s time to discard my notion that I am entirely self-created.
and, In many ways I have been insulated from hardship.
and, This all sounds plausible and makes for a satisfying narrative. How powerful is our drive to fill gestalts and to fashion neatly composed stories! But was it true?
The pattern is repeated throughout his illustrious career, something that I feel the need to repeat is the result of hard work, dedication, ambition and a talent for communicating clearly and effectively. The closest approximation I have for Mr. Yalom, after checking out at the end of the book some of the references to existential psychotherapy he made [Alex Comfort, Viktor Frankl, Rollo May, Oliver Sacks] is that his main merit in not so much in breaking new ground in the field as in the successful promotion and application of the principles defined by his peers. Something along the lines of Isaac Asimov for hard science or David Attenborough for ecology. Which is high praise when you consider how well known these motivational speakers are. Mr. Yalom has excelled in early studies in group therapy, in changing the perception of the doctor as a cold, analytic observer and in writing teaching manuals and literary novels about psychotherapy. Based on his own account, he also seems to spend more time on the conference circuit than in his cabinet. He himself, towards the end of his career, sees his literary efforts as more, or at least equally important, as his work with patients.
... my experience in leading therapy groups turned out to be therapeutic, not only for my patients but for me as well: it greatly increased my comfort in group situations.
Learning more about group therapy was a primary interest in picking up the memoir. I did have some already made ideas about the importance of social interactions and probably looked only for confirmation bias in the account. I don’t think you need a degree in psychotherapy or years of research to discover that most of our modern problems are driven by loneliness and that the solution is often to rely on your circle of friends.
In general, though, his work helped me understand that most of our patients fall into despair because of their inability to establish and maintain nurturing interpersonal relationships.
or, ... the group offers comradeship, supervision, postgraduate learning, personal growth, and, occasionally, crisis intervention. I strongly encourage other therapists to create a group such as ours.
Ultimately, what is such a leaderless therapy group other than the close friends that you gather in a lifetime and that you can rely upon in your time of need? I know not all of us are lucky in this matter, and even if I do not consider psychotherapy to be major science, I do believe the guidelines established for group therapy and the many studies performed in a controlled ecosystem are useful to those who really need help.
Yalom himself considered throughout his career that he was as much in need of therapy as some of his patients (although I have my own suspicions that this was more in the nature of research than actual anxiety). Starting with his residency years until the time he wrote this memoir Mr Yalom has chosen to undergo therapy in an effort to grow as a person and to receive unbiased feedback about his life choices. Which sort of explains the title of the memoir and the choice of a lapidary image on the cover: becoming ourselves, being comfortable in our own skins is an effort of a lifetime, and you really need to know yourself before starting to advise others about the meaning of life.
Slowly I began to understand that, since the therapist’s chief professional tool is his or her own person, self-disclosure of personal shortcomings felt doubly risky: not only might one’s character be judged, but one’s professional competence as well.
or, I felt so isolated, unappreciated, and uneasy in my skin that year that I decided to find a therapist for myself, as I’ve done at various difficult points throughout my life.
>>><<<>>><<<
The second major breakthrough in Mr. Yalom’s career has to do with existentialism. The author sort of claims he introduced this concept into mainstream therapy, although I believe his friends and mentors Rollo May or Viktor Frankl would beg to differ. Mr. Yalom still has a valid claim on the most widely used manual in North America on the subject, whose succesful and multiple revised editions speak volumes about his erudition.
More and more I grasped that many of the issues my patients struggled with – aging, loss, death, major life choices such as what profession to pursue or whom to marry – were often more cogently addressed by novelists and philosophers than by members of my own field.
I could have pointed out to the relevance of fiction in presenting and solving the problems in our daily lives before discovering Yalom. Once again, I feel common sense and an inquisitive mind are more important than a degree in psychotherapy, but I sort of enjoyed the numerous references the author makes to the books and the stories that shaped his life and informed his treatment decisions. These philosophers and storytellers are most probably the driving force in his career shift towards becoming a novelist, a field that has been as rewarding to him as his medical practice.
Through narrative, these writers had plumbed depths of existence in a way that psychiatric writing never seemed to have achieved.
and, All my life I have been a lover of narrative, and I have often smuggled therapy stories, some only a few lines long, some lasting a few pages, into my professional writing.
>>><<<>>><<<
Unfortunately, the last half of the memoir is dedicated to trivialities and self-congratulatory passages. Mr Yalom holiday recollections and his assortment of funny anecdotes from his travels hold little interest for me: Vespa adventures, hunting for ancient coins in Cyprus, experiments with drugs in Chiang Mai, meditation in an Indian ashram – funny party pieces that have been polished to a sparkle by repeated renderings in front of nephews or around the conference circuit until the line between fact and fiction disappears.
Similarly the details of how he came to write his novels, instead of discussing their substance I found less appealing than an in-depth discussion on psychoanalysis in modern times. By far the most annoying aspect of the memoir is the self promotion, a little aspect of the author’s pride that would have been more palatable coming from other people who knew him (and he doesn’t lack for groupies]. Even here, there is an acknowledgement that mr. Yalom is aware of the pitfalls of self-delusion in a passage where he describes a commentary that he made to Frankl in a review of a book by that celebrated analyst.
I replied, as gently as possible, that such heavy focus on applause deterred from his presentation and might lead some readers to conclude that he was overinvested in the applause. He wrote back immediately, saying, “Irv, you just won’t understand – you weren’t there: they DID rise and applaud five times.” Even the best of us are sometimes blinded by our wounds and our need for praise.
>>><<<>>><<<
In conclusion, I do not regret getting to know this eminent analyst, even as I struggled to get the end of his rambling memoir. My particular interest would have been better served by one of his other books, either one of his fictional novels or one of his collection of clinical tales.
Maria Bikaki
October 26, 2019
Αν αυτό το βιβλίο είναι το κύκνειο άσμα του Γιάλομ τότε για να πω την αλήθεια δεν ξέρω αν μπορώ να δηλώσω απόλυτα ικανοποιημένη. Αν και εξαρχής γνωρίζοντας ότι πρόκειται περισσότερο για αυτοβιογραφία παρά για βιβλίο ψυχολογίας, δεν ξέρω ρε παιδάκι μου το θες και πάλι το απόσταγμα σοφίας σου, τον προβληματισμό που σου δημιουργεί στο μυαλουδάκι αυτό που θα γράψει ο Γιάλομ. Μπορεί να μην αγάπησα όλα του τα βιβλία το ίδιο, ούτε να πήρα απ’ όλα αυτά που ήθελα ξεκινώντας τα απλά αν μη τι άλλω αποτελούσε μια ξεχωριστή εμπειρία η ανάγνωση τους ακόμα και αν δεν κατέληγες να τα λατρέψεις ή να συμφωνήσεις με όλα όσα έγραφε.
Αφού λοιπόν δεν αισθάνθηκα ότι υπήρχε το σκηνικό που περιγράφω παραπάνω λες εντάξει ρε φίλε αφου δεν εχει αυτό και είναι και αυτοβιογραφία γράψε μας κάτι πιο πιπεράτο, κάνε το βιβλίο λίγο πιο προσωπικό. Εννοείται βέβαια μέσα στο βιβλίο υπάρχουν προσωπικές αναφορές αλλάεγώ προσωπικά δεν ξέρω δεν ένιωσα ότι τον γνώρισα πολύ παραπάνω από όσα με είχε αφήσει να μάθω σε προηγούμενα βιβλία του.
Το βιβλίο ήταν συμπαθητικό αλλά κατά την άποψη μου ανεπαρκές. Έχεις το βήμα για τελευταία φορά, έχεις την προσωπικότητα που έχεις, επηρεάζεις ανθρώπους και συνειδήσεις δεν ξέρω θα ήθελα έστω ένα πιο ξεκάθαρο statement, όχι πως αυτό είναι ο σκοπός μιας αυτοβιογραφίας αλλά όταν από τον Ίρβιν Γιάλομ έχω διαφορετικές απαιτήσεις από αυτές που θα έχω αν γράψει την αυτοβιογραφία ένας ροκ σταρ ή ένας θρύλος του σινεμά.
Αφού λοιπόν δεν αισθάνθηκα ότι υπήρχε το σκηνικό που περιγράφω παραπάνω λες εντάξει ρε φίλε αφου δεν εχει αυτό και είναι και αυτοβιογραφία γράψε μας κάτι πιο πιπεράτο, κάνε το βιβλίο λίγο πιο προσωπικό. Εννοείται βέβαια μέσα στο βιβλίο υπάρχουν προσωπικές αναφορές αλλάεγώ προσωπικά δεν ξέρω δεν ένιωσα ότι τον γνώρισα πολύ παραπάνω από όσα με είχε αφήσει να μάθω σε προηγούμενα βιβλία του.
Το βιβλίο ήταν συμπαθητικό αλλά κατά την άποψη μου ανεπαρκές. Έχεις το βήμα για τελευταία φορά, έχεις την προσωπικότητα που έχεις, επηρεάζεις ανθρώπους και συνειδήσεις δεν ξέρω θα ήθελα έστω ένα πιο ξεκάθαρο statement, όχι πως αυτό είναι ο σκοπός μιας αυτοβιογραφίας αλλά όταν από τον Ίρβιν Γιάλομ έχω διαφορετικές απαιτήσεις από αυτές που θα έχω αν γράψει την αυτοβιογραφία ένας ροκ σταρ ή ένας θρύλος του σινεμά.
Sanaz
June 19, 2019
خب اول از اسم کتاب شروع کنیم که اسمش "becoming myself" هست درست مثل کتاب میشل شدن... این جمله "شدم آنکه هستم" برمیگرده به جمله ی معروف نیچه که میگه "become who you are" در زبان اصلیش "werde, der du bist" که اشاره داره به شدن از نظر معنوی و ذاتی و شخصیتی... هیچ ربطی به دکتر شدنتو کجا کار کردنتو به کجا سفر کردنت نداره... اولین دلیلی که باعث شد من این کتاب رو بخرم به خاطر اسمش بود چون طبیعتا فکر کردم مسیر یالوم در مورد جمله ی نیچه هست وگرنه کتاب های دیگر یالوم اولویت بیشتری داشت برام. حالا اینکه خانم مهرنوش شهریاری به خودش این اجازه رو داده و نمیدونم از روی نادانی یا دانسته برای جلب خواننده این تحریف واقعی رو از همون اول روی عنوان داشته واقعا توهین به شعور خواننده میدونم... اینکه که روی جلد زرد کتاب اسم دکتر سپیده حبیب رو با فونت مشکی و بزرگ اول زده بشه و با اولین نگاه فکر کنی که داری کتاب رو با ترجمه دکتر حبیب میخوای بخری بیای خونه ببینی دکتر حبیب ویراستار علمیه که اول نوشته شده بعدش به اسم مترجم روی جلد اشاره شده خودش جای کلی حرف داره... حالا از این موضوعات کلاه برداری های فرهنگی عزیزان به اصطلاح با سواد جامعه مون بگذریم تا من باشم دیگه بدون بررسی کامل یه کتاب نخرمش. این کتاب در واقع اوتوبیوگرافی از یالوم هست که صفحات اولش جوری به حس درونیش اشاره کرده بود من ذوق کردم ولی تقریبا کل کتاب همون کارهای نویسنده، سمت های شغلی و داستان کتاب هاش و سفرهاشو توصیف میکنه... در واقع همون انتظاری رو برآورده میکنه که از یک کتاب به اسم "من شدن" داریم. کتاب بدی نیست خسته کننده نیست مخصوصا برای کسانی که به خود شخص یالوم علاقه دارند.
Adrian Dinu
January 8, 2018
An inspiring, encouraging book that also gave me a good idea what to read next and how to go about on my path both towards becoming a therapist and towards becoming myself :) Inspiring through Yalom's own story, encouraging through his openness and vulnerability, even after decades of helping others and examining and developing himself.
October 13, 2017
Yalom the Memoirist is not as engaging as Yalom the therapist. Read Love's Executioner instead
Stella
October 29, 2017
I absolutely adore Yalom's books. However Yalom the author is very different from Yalom the person. I bought the memoir hoping to read about the struggles an adult faces and their existential questions and instead I found a bio of a psychiatrist and his professional life with few details about his perfect family life. This book might be better for the psychiatric community than for the literary community seeking to see what is hiding behind an amazing author. I would just recommend skipping this one and reading his actual books.
Μαρία
July 16, 2018
Το έχουμε εκφράσει πολλάκις και το διαπιστώνουμε κάθε φορά εκ νέου...η γραφή του Yalom είναι χαρά οφθαλμού και χάδι πνεύματος.
Ένας τρυφερά και λογοτεχνικά ψυχοθεραπευτικός "επίλογος".
Ένας τρυφερά και λογοτεχνικά ψυχοθεραπευτικός "επίλογος".
Dar vieną puslapį
January 8, 2020
Irvin Yalom daugiau mažiau pažįstamas visiems, kurie nors šiek tiek domisi psichologija. Skaitytojai pamėgo jo knygas "Kai Nyčė verkė", "Melagis ant kušetės", "Gydymas Šopenhaueriu" ir Vagos leidykla tikriausiai pagalvojo, kad metas išleisti psichiatro memuarus. Manau, neapsiriko. Knyga tiems, kurie yra bent jau kažką girdėję apie šį puikų ir savo srityje vertinamą specialistą bus įdomi.
Memuaruose atskleidžiama Yalom vaikystė, kaip jis pasirinko psichiatro kelią, kaip jo gyvenime atsirado rašymas, šiek tiek apie žmoną, vaikus, draugus, na ir žinoma, karjeros vingiai. Itin įdomu pasirodė knygų atsiradimo istorijos: kas jas paskatino parašyti, kaip sekėsi įgyvendinti sumanymus, kokios dvejonės kankino ir pan. Knygoje atskleidžiama ir tai, kaip Yalom sekėsi darbinėje aplinkoje, kaip jis ieškojo naujų būdų problemoms įveikti. Tai taip pat įdomu.
Gerokai blankiau atrodo asmeninis autoriaus gyvenimas. Iš biografijų tikimasi platesnio savęs kaip asmenybės bei savo aplinkos atskleidimo. Deja deja viskas čia blankoka. Gal per daug diplomatijos, nenoro dalintis, o gal išties viskas taip nuobodu: žmona - vidurinės laikų meilė, būrys vaikų, kurie tiesiog augo ir tapo puikiais žmonėmis, persikraustymai, kelionės. Nieko intriguojančio, nieko to, kas rodytų vidines dramas, ieškojimus ir tai, ko aš labiausiai laukiau bei tikėjausi. Vaikystė vis tik parodoma atviriausiai - ka reiškė būti žydu, susidurti su antisemitizmu ir nepatogiai jaustis dėl nepasiturinčių bei daug dirbančių tėvų.
Yalom žmona - išskirtinė ir ne mažiau pasiekusi asmenybė. Autorius skiria dėmesio jų santykiui aprašyti. Moteris taip pat rašo, knygas, jos sąskaitoje solidi akademinė patirtis, o taip pat užaugintas nemažas būrys vaikų. Taigi dar kyla klausimas - kuris iš jų pasiekės daugiau. Nustebino tokio progresyvaus žmogaus kaip Yalom labai jau tradicinis požiūris į šeimos modelį. Kol jis darė karjerą, jo žmona viena augino vaikus ir taip pat bandė neiškristi iš savęs realizavimo traukinio. Pagarba jai ir minusas Yalom.
Kam skaityti? Tiems, kurie jau yra girdėję apie šį psichoterpeutą - rašytoją Yalom ir nori susipažinti išsamiau. Gero skaitymo
Video apžvalga: https://bit.ly/36jbKV8
Instagram: https://bit.ly/35wXyqG
Facebook: https://bit.ly/2Frr2LZ
Memuaruose atskleidžiama Yalom vaikystė, kaip jis pasirinko psichiatro kelią, kaip jo gyvenime atsirado rašymas, šiek tiek apie žmoną, vaikus, draugus, na ir žinoma, karjeros vingiai. Itin įdomu pasirodė knygų atsiradimo istorijos: kas jas paskatino parašyti, kaip sekėsi įgyvendinti sumanymus, kokios dvejonės kankino ir pan. Knygoje atskleidžiama ir tai, kaip Yalom sekėsi darbinėje aplinkoje, kaip jis ieškojo naujų būdų problemoms įveikti. Tai taip pat įdomu.
Gerokai blankiau atrodo asmeninis autoriaus gyvenimas. Iš biografijų tikimasi platesnio savęs kaip asmenybės bei savo aplinkos atskleidimo. Deja deja viskas čia blankoka. Gal per daug diplomatijos, nenoro dalintis, o gal išties viskas taip nuobodu: žmona - vidurinės laikų meilė, būrys vaikų, kurie tiesiog augo ir tapo puikiais žmonėmis, persikraustymai, kelionės. Nieko intriguojančio, nieko to, kas rodytų vidines dramas, ieškojimus ir tai, ko aš labiausiai laukiau bei tikėjausi. Vaikystė vis tik parodoma atviriausiai - ka reiškė būti žydu, susidurti su antisemitizmu ir nepatogiai jaustis dėl nepasiturinčių bei daug dirbančių tėvų.
Yalom žmona - išskirtinė ir ne mažiau pasiekusi asmenybė. Autorius skiria dėmesio jų santykiui aprašyti. Moteris taip pat rašo, knygas, jos sąskaitoje solidi akademinė patirtis, o taip pat užaugintas nemažas būrys vaikų. Taigi dar kyla klausimas - kuris iš jų pasiekės daugiau. Nustebino tokio progresyvaus žmogaus kaip Yalom labai jau tradicinis požiūris į šeimos modelį. Kol jis darė karjerą, jo žmona viena augino vaikus ir taip pat bandė neiškristi iš savęs realizavimo traukinio. Pagarba jai ir minusas Yalom.
Kam skaityti? Tiems, kurie jau yra girdėję apie šį psichoterpeutą - rašytoją Yalom ir nori susipažinti išsamiau. Gero skaitymo
Video apžvalga: https://bit.ly/36jbKV8
Instagram: https://bit.ly/35wXyqG
Facebook: https://bit.ly/2Frr2LZ
Reshad
October 5, 2019
درمان اگزیستانسیالیسم یا درمان با اگزیستانسیالیسم: منظور اروین یالوم کدام بود؟
آیا اروین یالوم واقعا به خدا اعتقاد نداشت؟ اگزیستانسیالیسم از دیدگاه اروین یالوم چگونه است؟ اروین یالوم نویسنده است یا پزشک؟ آیا در نهایت بر ترس و هراس خود از مرگ غلبه کرد؟ کاربرد اگزیستانسیالیسم در روانشناسی چیست؟ پایه ی روانکاوی در کارهای فروید بوده است؟ فلسفه میتواند در خدمت روان شناسی باشد؟ آیا روانشناسان باید با فلسفه و اصول نویسندگی آشنا باشند؟ راستی اروین یالوم روانشناس بود یا روان پزشک؟ چرا از دارو برای درمان بهره نمیبرد؟
غایت فلسفه چیست؟ مگر نه اینکه برای پاسخ دادن به سوالاتی که ذهن ما را درگیر کرده؛ ایجاد شده است؟ بسیاری از دانش آموختگان رشته های روانشناسی و روانپزشکی بر این باور هستند که اهمیت و ارزشمندی کار و تحقیقات فروید تنها در بنیانگذاری روانکاوی تحلیلی خلاصه نمیشود. و علارغم ایرادات وارده به بخشی از نظریات وی و پیشرفت ها و گرایش های متفاوتی که در این زمینه حاصل شده است؛ فروید در واقع بنیانگذار و پدر کل علم روانکاوی است. همانطور که انیشتین پدر علم فیزیک نوین است. تا قبل از حضور انیشتین، دانشمندان فیزیک قرن ۱۹ به این باور رسیده بودند که علم فیزیک قادر به توضیح تمامی پدید های شناخته شده آن زمان مثل حرکت سیارات، وسایل نقلیه و ... هست و دیگر لزومی به جذب دانشجو و پرورش دانشمند در این حوزه نیست که با ظهور انیشتین علم فیزیک ویران شد و علم نوین بنا نهاده شد.
ارزشمندی کار انیشتین و فروید در بنا کردن شاخه ی جدیدی از علم هست.
ولی آیا به راستی فروید بود که روانکاوی را اختراع کرد؟ اروین یالوم در نوشته هایش ، ضمن احترام فراوان برای فروید معتقد است که فروید شروع کننده ی این رشته نبوده است! در کتاب "درمان شوپنهاور" و نیز در تحلیل بر آن در کتاب " شدم آنکه هستم"، کار ها و تحقیقات شوپنهاور را بر فروید مقدم میداند.
ولی باز گام را فراتر گذاشته و مشاهده میکند که علت برخی از مشکلات بیماران در سوالات و تناقضاتی هست که اتفاقا از دیرباز ذهن بزرگترین فیلسوفان و اندیشمندان را به خود درگیر کرده است. به طور مثال بحران پیری، بحران مرگ مربوط به مسله ی " اجتناب ناپذیری مرگ" و بحران جوانی و بحران پس از ازدواج و حتی PTSD مربوط به مسله ی " مسولیت ناشی از آزادی" هستند.
��ین مسائل که اروین یالوم ۴ تای آن ها را می شناسد و برمیشمرد شامل " اجتناب ناپذیری از مرگ"، " آزادی"، " مسولیت ناشی از آزادی" و " انزوا" هستند که بعلت فراگیر بودن آن در گونه ی بشر اصطلاحا " پیش فرض های غایی" نیز نامیده میشوند. این تناقضات که در واقع محصول نگرش اگزیستانسیالیستی هستند، همانطور که خود اروین یالوم اشاره میکند در افراد معتقد به خدا و مذهب کمتر پدیدار میشود. اگزیستانسیالیسم فلسفه ی نگرش به هستی با سرآغاز "خود" و به عبارتی " گونه ی بشر و آنسان" است. در پس این جمله که در واقع خود را از هستی جدا میکند احساس عدم تعلق و سرگشتگی در مواجه با دنیای "به ظاهر" بی معن�� و پوچ وجود دارد. بر ��لاف پوچ گرایی که معتقد است زندگی ذاتا همچون یک بازی بی معنا است؛ در اگزیستانسیالیسم این "پوچی ظاهری" ناشی از عدم تعلق و سرگشتگی انسان است. در واقع دیدگاه اگزیستانسیالیسم پیروانش را به مثابه ی یک فرزندی در بیابان رها میکند.حال، آنکه بتواند خود برای خود معنی پیدا کند ، نجات یافته و آنکه از بخشیدن معنی برای زندگی عاجز بماند ، دچار تناقضات و همان ۴ محصولی میشود که پیشتر عرض کردم.
قابل ذکر است که پیروان ادیان و مذهب به وجودی ماورایی اعتقاد دارند که به زندگی معنی میبخشد و خداوند و سرنوشت بخشی از مسولیت ناشی از آزادی را به عهده میگیرند، مسئولیتی که در دیدگاه اگزیستانسیالیستی به عهده خود فرد است. و گاه فرد زیر بار این مسولیت، خود را می بازد.
آشنایی اروین یالوم با این دیدگاه فلسفی _ به شکرانه ی مطالعات گسترده اش از دوران کودکی_ و همچنین هوش و فراست او سبب شد که نام این تناقضات را بدرستی اگزیستانسیالیسم بگزارد و به درمان آن بپردازد. برخلاف تصور عموم که اگزیستانسیالیسم چاره و درمان است؛ در حالی که این دیدگاه هر چند خود فرد از اعتقاد به آن سر باز زند، مسبب اصلی تناقضات است.
در دیدگاه اگزیستانسیالیستی پیش بینی شده که فردی میتواند به زندگی خود معنی ببخشد که از راهی که پیموده راضی باشد. و همین موضوع کلید درمان بیماران درگیر با این مطلب است. هدف بخشیدن، برجسته کردن دستاورد ها، تضعیف بار مسولیت از جمله راهکار های درمان است.
البته برخلاف فروید که سعی در هولوگرافی و توجیه تمام مسائل با مدل id, Ego, superego بود؛ اروین یالوم از اندیکاسیون های این روش درمانی صحبت میکند و اینکه مسائل مشخصی مثل مشکلات ازدواج، بیماری های شخصیتی با این روش قابل درمان نیستند.
در هر صورت در پاسخ به این سوال که اروین یالوم به خداوند اعتقاد داشت یا خیر؟ قابل ذکر است که کسانی که از دور او را می شناسند_ احتمالا از طریق کتاب هایش_، میدانند که او در یک خانواده ی مذهبی یهودی و صهیونیستی دو آتیشه بدنیا آمده بود. خانواده کاملا به شرعیات مذهب یهود پایبند بود. به طور مثال، برای غذا خوردن ۴ سری و نوع ظرف داشتند. حتی او به اجبار پدر نمیتوانست از اغذیه فروشی نزدیک خانه، سالاد تهیه کند. توجیه پدر این بود که ممکن است از کاردی که برای بریدن سالان استفاده شده، در بریدن گوشت حرام استفاده شده باشد. با وجود چنین خانواده ایی، وی همانطور که در کتاب " شدم آنکه هستم" توضیح میدهد، از اواسط نوجوانی شروع به نادیده گرفتن شرعیات کرد.
این خصوصیات رفتاری و استفاده از اگزیستانسیالیسم برای توجیه مشکلات بیمارانش و ترس دائمی وی از مرگ، این سوءنگرش را بوجود آورده است که احتمالا خود اروین یالوم دارای نگرش اگزیستانسیالیستی بوده. او هرگز از اعتقاد و عدم اعتقادش به خدا صحبت نکرده است. حتی به دفعات میگوید که اعتقاد به دین و مذهب مواجه با این مسائل را بسیار راحتتر و کمتر میکند.
به گمان من، درگیری اصلی اروین یالوم فلسفه ی وجودی خدا نبوده است. او کسی است که بعلت فراست بالا، مطالعات گسترده و تعهد و دلسوزی؛ فلسفه را به خدمت درمان گرفته است. مگر نه اینکه غایت اصلی فلسفه پاسخ به این سوالات بنیادین بشر و حل کردن این دغدغه ها است؟؟
رشاد حسن نژاد
Shakiba
June 7, 2019
بیشتر روند اتفاقهای زندگی یالوم بود از کودکی تا ۸۵ سالگی. نگاهش به گذشته سانتیمانتال بود و به شخصیت خودش تا حدی ایدهآل.
اما فصلهای آخر که راجع به مرگ و ترس از مرگ مینویسد خوب بود. نظر یک روانکاو راجع به مرگ؛ روانکاوی که خود در سالهای پایانی زندگیاش به سر میبرد و یکی از نگرانیهای مهم بیمارانش این است که مبادا قبل از پایان درمانشان، یالوم بمیرد.
اما فصلهای آخر که راجع به مرگ و ترس از مرگ مینویسد خوب بود. نظر یک روانکاو راجع به مرگ؛ روانکاوی که خود در سالهای پایانی زندگیاش به سر میبرد و یکی از نگرانیهای مهم بیمارانش این است که مبادا قبل از پایان درمانشان، یالوم بمیرد.
Maede
August 19, 2019
اروین یالوم همیشه الهام بخش من بود. دریافت های زیاد و خوبی از کتاب هایش داشتم و این قضیه باعث شده به همه کتاباش با دیده آموزه نگاه کنم.
این کتاب یالوم بیشتر به زندگی کاری و تخصصی اش برداخته ولی میشه جنبه های شخصی از زندگیش رو هم دید.
اگه شماهم مثل من شیفته اروین یالوم و درمان های گروهی و مکتب اگزیستانسیال هستید از این کتاب لذت خواهید برد.
این کتاب یالوم بیشتر به زندگی کاری و تخصصی اش برداخته ولی میشه جنبه های شخصی از زندگیش رو هم دید.
اگه شماهم مثل من شیفته اروین یالوم و درمان های گروهی و مکتب اگزیستانسیال هستید از این کتاب لذت خواهید برد.
Mobina J
March 31, 2023
به نظرم اگر کسی از یالوم چیزی نخونده اصلا نباید بره سراغ این کتاب.
یالوم شروع میکنه از کودکیش گفتن تا در نهایت میرسه به زمان حالش که داره کتاب رو مینویسه.
از زاده شدن کتاب هاش میگه و از دغدغه هاش و افکارش و تجربیاتش و ....
به نظرم برای کسی که چند تا کتاب ازش خونده میتونه جالب باشه برای دوستن داستان پشت اون افکار و شناخت بی پرده تر یالوم.
یالوم شروع میکنه از کودکیش گفتن تا در نهایت میرسه به زمان حالش که داره کتاب رو مینویسه.
از زاده شدن کتاب هاش میگه و از دغدغه هاش و افکارش و تجربیاتش و ....
به نظرم برای کسی که چند تا کتاب ازش خونده میتونه جالب باشه برای دوستن داستان پشت اون افکار و شناخت بی پرده تر یالوم.
Ty-Orion
November 5, 2019
Чела съм 3-4 книги на Ървин Ялом и като цяло бях останала с много добри впечатления от писателските му способности. Затова с интерес посегнах към мемоарите му с надежда да разбера как се е формирал като личност.
Заглавието "Моят път към себе си" звучеше изключително обещаващо и очаквах едно наистина дълбоко изследване на душевните пластове на един известен и успешен психолог. Голяма грешка от моя страна, но както казват будистите който очаква, все се разочарова и най-добре е нищо да не очакваш. В случая обаче мисля, че дори и нищо да не бях очаквала, пак щях да се разочаровам.
Ървин Ялом е изключително умен човек, за това спор няма. Но най-отличителното му качество не е интелектът му, а невероятният му късмет да се роди където трябва и когато трябва, в едни златни години, които във всичко са подкрепяли амбициите му и с нищо не са го възпрепятствали.
Анотацията заблуждава с алюзията, че Ялом е имал бедно детство. Нищо подобно. Да, беден е на фона на богатите - за няколко години. Ограничаваща среда няма, родителите му са давали всичките си средства да го образоват до максимално висока научна степен, подпомагат го финансово дълго след като е пълнолетен и вече женен, включително за покупката на къща. Където и да кандидатства - е приет. Каквото напише - се публикува. Каквото пробва за първи път - постига успех и похвали. Всички го харесват и всички му стават приятели. Намира любовта на живота си на 15-годишна възраст и са му спестени дори любовните преживявания и мъки, през които минават всички хора в хода на живота си при търсенето на сексуален и житейски партньор. Жена му също е изключително умна и успешна и имат 4 здрави и свестни деца. Най-големият проблем на семейството е на кое екзотично място да отидат на почивка. Ди енд.
Сама съм си виновна, че очаквах някакви разкрития, дълбания и жизнени турбуленции, преодоляването на съществени болки и препятствия, крачки назад, провали. Нищо такова няма. Или поне не пише за това.
Пише какво е учредил, написал, какви групи е направил, какви известни имена е срещнал. Сякаш обича да вади тези имена от шапката като опитен фокусник.
Впечатли ме само срещата му с Виктор Франкъл, тъй обичаният от мнозина автор на Човекът в търсене на смисъл - как стоял гордо пред библиотека, пълна догоре само с разноезични преводи на магнус опуса му, както и разказчето как Франкъл демонстрирал силата на Логотерапията като определил смисъла на живота на пациент след 15-минутен разговор и императивно дал указания, че вече затова ще живее пациентът, и точка. Тази мръсна сценка с участието на Франкъл и това, че Франкъл веднага уволнил несъгласния с този подход асистент, присъстващ на тази терапия по веднагическо определяне на СМИСЪЛА, е единственото, което ще запомня от книгата, защото се отвратих. Всичките известни психолози ли са такива нетърпими нарциси?
Заглавието "Моят път към себе си" звучеше изключително обещаващо и очаквах едно наистина дълбоко изследване на душевните пластове на един известен и успешен психолог. Голяма грешка от моя страна, но както казват будистите който очаква, все се разочарова и най-добре е нищо да не очакваш. В случая обаче мисля, че дори и нищо да не бях очаквала, пак щях да се разочаровам.
Ървин Ялом е изключително умен човек, за това спор няма. Но най-отличителното му качество не е интелектът му, а невероятният му късмет да се роди където трябва и когато трябва, в едни златни години, които във всичко са подкрепяли амбициите му и с нищо не са го възпрепятствали.
Анотацията заблуждава с алюзията, че Ялом е имал бедно детство. Нищо подобно. Да, беден е на фона на богатите - за няколко години. Ограничаваща среда няма, родителите му са давали всичките си средства да го образоват до максимално висока научна степен, подпомагат го финансово дълго след като е пълнолетен и вече женен, включително за покупката на къща. Където и да кандидатства - е приет. Каквото напише - се публикува. Каквото пробва за първи път - постига успех и похвали. Всички го харесват и всички му стават приятели. Намира любовта на живота си на 15-годишна възраст и са му спестени дори любовните преживявания и мъки, през които минават всички хора в хода на живота си при търсенето на сексуален и житейски партньор. Жена му също е изключително умна и успешна и имат 4 здрави и свестни деца. Най-големият проблем на семейството е на кое екзотично място да отидат на почивка. Ди енд.
Сама съм си виновна, че очаквах някакви разкрития, дълбания и жизнени турбуленции, преодоляването на съществени болки и препятствия, крачки назад, провали. Нищо такова няма. Или поне не пише за това.
Пише какво е учредил, написал, какви групи е направил, какви известни имена е срещнал. Сякаш обича да вади тези имена от шапката като опитен фокусник.
Впечатли ме само срещата му с Виктор Франкъл, тъй обичаният от мнозина автор на Човекът в търсене на смисъл - как стоял гордо пред библиотека, пълна догоре само с разноезични преводи на магнус опуса му, както и разказчето как Франкъл демонстрирал силата на Логотерапията като определил смисъла на живота на пациент след 15-минутен разговор и императивно дал указания, че вече затова ще живее пациентът, и точка. Тази мръсна сценка с участието на Франкъл и това, че Франкъл веднага уволнил несъгласния с този подход асистент, присъстващ на тази терапия по веднагическо определяне на СМИСЪЛА, е единственото, което ще запомня от книгата, защото се отвратих. Всичките известни психолози ли са такива нетърпими нарциси?
Vanessa
March 14, 2018
I'm going to echo the other reviewers and confirm their reflections. No matter how much of a fan you are of Yalom's work, you can really do without this memoir. Towards the end of the book, Yalom describes a group of therapist writers he is a member of called Pegasus. He gives them the manuscript of Becoming Myself to read, and they have the same criticism we do: the first third is the most interesting, we urge you to put more of your self into it. It's true: I don't know who he avoids offending by not getting into any titillating experiences, but past the first third about his childhood, the rest of the book I remember as a blur of vacations and sabbaticals taken, speeches given and groups Yalom presided over. As a bonus though for readers from Greece, Yalom tells us of how well received and well known he is in Greece, how during one of his visits he signed thousands of books with fans lining up for multiple blocks in order to meet him, with more than fifty women whispering "I love you" in his ear. We are his biggest fans as Greece has the highest number of readers of Yalom per capita in the world!
Hakan
December 9, 2017
yalom'un temsil ettiği psikiyatrist kimliğine, genel olarak doktor kimliğine, ihtiyacımız olduğunu ve bu ihtiyacımızın gün geçtikçe artacağını düşünüyorum. hepimiz hasta ya da hasta adayı olduğumuza göre yalom'un yazarlığıyla, elbette sacks gibi, başka örnekler gibi, dünyanın bir ucundan bize ulaşabilmesi sevindirici ve umut verici.
yalom'un insan hikayesini esas alması, edebiyatın ve felsefenin birikimini somut olarak değerlendirmesi, bugün artık yokmuş sayılan varoluş sorunlarının, anlam arayışının, yalnızlığın, yalıtılmışlığın üzerine gitmesi çok ama çok değerli. anıları maalesef bir veda mahiyetinde olsa da aslolan yazdıklarıyla bize ulaşmaya, hayatlarımıza dokunmaya devam edecek olması. kendisinin ölümle yüzleşmek kitabında anlattığı "dalgalanma" bu. öyleyse hem ne mutlu ona hem ne mutlu bize diye bitireyim şimdi.
yalom'un insan hikayesini esas alması, edebiyatın ve felsefenin birikimini somut olarak değerlendirmesi, bugün artık yokmuş sayılan varoluş sorunlarının, anlam arayışının, yalnızlığın, yalıtılmışlığın üzerine gitmesi çok ama çok değerli. anıları maalesef bir veda mahiyetinde olsa da aslolan yazdıklarıyla bize ulaşmaya, hayatlarımıza dokunmaya devam edecek olması. kendisinin ölümle yüzleşmek kitabında anlattığı "dalgalanma" bu. öyleyse hem ne mutlu ona hem ne mutlu bize diye bitireyim şimdi.
Fatemeh
July 23, 2022
من از این کتاب خوشم اومد ولی به نظرم اگر قبلش کتابهای دیگهی یالوم رو خونده باشید خیلییی بیشتر مورد توج��تون قرار میگیره. چون در بخشهای مختلف خاطرات نوشتن کتابهای مختلفش رو تعریف میکنه.
یه جایی از کتاب هم دربارهی ایران میگه. میگه خوانندههای ایرانی زیادی داره و ایران تنها کشوریه که بدون پرداخت حق نشر داره آثارم رو ترجمه میکنه. :))))
یه جایی از کتاب هم دربارهی ایران میگه. میگه خوانندههای ایرانی زیادی داره و ایران تنها کشوریه که بدون پرداخت حق نشر داره آثارم رو ترجمه میکنه. :))))
Zeynab Babaxani
July 21, 2019
اولین کتاب و در واقع اولین آشنایی جدی من با یالوم بود. به عنوان یک زندگی نامه، خیلی کسل کننده و از موضع بالا نوشته شده بود. بخصوص قسمتهای اولیه ی کتاب. اما از جایی که فرآیند بقیه ی کتابهاش رو توضیح میده برام جالب شد.
شاید اگر اطلاعات خوبی در حوزه ی پزشکی، روانپزشکی و یا گروه درمانی داشته باشید، بیشتر از این کتاب لذت ببرید.
شاید اگر اطلاعات خوبی در حوزه ی پزشکی، روانپزشکی و یا گروه درمانی داشته باشید، بیشتر از این کتاب لذت ببرید.
Emilio Gonzalez
October 29, 2019
Será que me gusta la forma en la que Irvin Yalom supo combinar psicología y filosofía y su forma ágil y amena de escribir, que tanto “El día que Nietzsche lloro” como “Un año con Schopenhauer” me resultaron muy atractivos y me dejaron con ganas de conocer más de su obra.
En este caso el prestigioso psiquiatra y precursor de la terapia de grupos nos entrega a sus 85 años un libro de memorias donde habla de su infancia, sus miedos, el desarrollo de su carrera profesional como psicoterapeuta y como fue la génesis de cada una de sus obras.
Un libro que puede resultar muy inspirador y me ha gustado mucho. Lo recomiendo sobre todo a aquellos que leyeron sus anteriores libros y quedaron conformes.
En este caso el prestigioso psiquiatra y precursor de la terapia de grupos nos entrega a sus 85 años un libro de memorias donde habla de su infancia, sus miedos, el desarrollo de su carrera profesional como psicoterapeuta y como fue la génesis de cada una de sus obras.
Un libro que puede resultar muy inspirador y me ha gustado mucho. Lo recomiendo sobre todo a aquellos que leyeron sus anteriores libros y quedaron conformes.
Hossein
July 17, 2021
یالومِ عزیز، به زیباترین شکل و با همان داستانگویی همیشگی و جذاب، سرگذشتش را تعریف کرده. کتاب را با شور فراوان خواندم و بیشتر از همیشه به او احساس نزدیکی میکنم و دوستش دارم.
Ioana
June 29, 2021
“Yalom scrie ca un înger despre demonii care ne asediază” este, cu siguranță, cea mai corectă și măgulitoare afirmație despre îndrăgitul și respectatul psihoterapeut și scriitor Irvin D.Yalom, și cel mai frumos compliment primit de către acesta din partea unui alt bine-cunoscut terapeut, scriitor și filosof existențialist, Rollo May.
Primul meu contact cu Yalom a fost prin intermediul cărților lui de ficțiune, Minciuni pe canapea și Plânsul lui Nietzsche, ca mai apoi, destul de recent, să citesc și câteva titluri de non-ficțiune. Călătoria către sine. Memoriile unui psihiatru este cartea sa autobiografică, o lectură onestă și introspectivă pe parcursul căreia cititorul va fi martorul evoluției sale în primul rând ca fiu al unei familii de emigranți ruși, ce depune notabile eforturi pentru a reuși să se ridice deaspura condiției sale de evreu marginalizat, student conștiincios al facultății de medicină, soț al singurei femei pe care a iubit-o și cu care a avut o frumoasă și impresionantă căsnicie de peste 60 de ani, profesor emerit în psihologie și psihoterapie în cadrul universității Stanford și, nu în ultimul rând, făuritor de cuvinte, scriitor prolific cu numeroase cărți de ficțiune și non-ficțiune, traduse în nenumărate limbi și recompensate de criticii de specialitate, un exemplu în acest sens fiind cartea Plânsul lui Nietzsche, aceasta fiind recunoscută în Viena anului 2009 drept cartea anului, autorul susținând o prezentare publică de mulțumire chiar în incinta Muzeului Freud.
De-a lungul celor 400 de pagini, cititorul este invitat să cunoască îndeaproape cele mai inime gânduri ale autorului, reușind în acest fel să cunoască în profunzime detaliile poveștilor de viață ce stau în spatele imaginii de om public.
Cu sinceritate, umor și empatie, Yalom se destăinuie cititorului, povestindu-i acestuia propria sa călătorie de viață, încununată cu bucurii, reușite, satisfacții, dar și îndoielile și regrete (una dintre acestea vizând relația sa mai deloc apropiată cu mama lui, pe care nu a apreciat-o la timpul potrivit și pe care a înțeles-o prea puțin, cea de-a doua făcând referire la timpul mult prea scurt petrecut în compania propriilor săi copii, patru la număr, pe care i-a cam neglijat în detrimentul succesului profesional și al pacienților săi, soția depunând cele mai mari eforturi în creșterea acestora, aceasta amânându-și propria carieră scriitoricească pentru a-și ajuta familia).
Cel mai mult am apreciat capitolele dedicate cărților sale, aflând astfel detalii surprinzătoare și interesante despre procesul de scriere, inspirațiile autorului și eforturile depuse în vederea realizării unor romane menite să trezească, să inspire și să educe publicul de pretutindeni.
În cartea de față am descoperit nenumăratele fațete ale apreciatului om de știință și scriitor, un Yalom plin de viață (chiar și la vârsta de 85 de ani), departe de a fi perfect însă extrem de sincer și asumat, un bărbat demn, dedicat pasiunilor sale – scrisul, medicina, educarea și ajutorarea semenilor săi -, extrem de modest, bine ancorat în realitate, dar și visător, prin prisma obiectelor sale de studiu și a plăcerilor de zi cu zi.
Este o adevărată lecție de viață, un (alt) cadou oferit de Yalom cititorilor și susținătorilor săi din întreaga lume, o lectură ce îndeamnă la introspecție, o carte care, pentru mine, s-a simțit de parcă aș fi făcut zilnic, preț de câteva ore, terapie cu celebrul scriitor. Și în încheiere, ca un gând rătăcitor, simt că, poate, prin intermediul acestei cărți care dezvăluie mult din el însuși, Yalom a făcut chiar el terapie cu noi, cititorii lui. Căci scrisul este unul dintre cele mai frumoase obiecte terapeutice din câte există pe pământ.
„Eram atras deopotrivă de psihiatrie și de literatură. Cea mai mare plăcere era să mă pierd în universul unui roman și-mi spuneam neîncetat că cea mai mare reușită în viață este să scrii un roman bun.”
Primul meu contact cu Yalom a fost prin intermediul cărților lui de ficțiune, Minciuni pe canapea și Plânsul lui Nietzsche, ca mai apoi, destul de recent, să citesc și câteva titluri de non-ficțiune. Călătoria către sine. Memoriile unui psihiatru este cartea sa autobiografică, o lectură onestă și introspectivă pe parcursul căreia cititorul va fi martorul evoluției sale în primul rând ca fiu al unei familii de emigranți ruși, ce depune notabile eforturi pentru a reuși să se ridice deaspura condiției sale de evreu marginalizat, student conștiincios al facultății de medicină, soț al singurei femei pe care a iubit-o și cu care a avut o frumoasă și impresionantă căsnicie de peste 60 de ani, profesor emerit în psihologie și psihoterapie în cadrul universității Stanford și, nu în ultimul rând, făuritor de cuvinte, scriitor prolific cu numeroase cărți de ficțiune și non-ficțiune, traduse în nenumărate limbi și recompensate de criticii de specialitate, un exemplu în acest sens fiind cartea Plânsul lui Nietzsche, aceasta fiind recunoscută în Viena anului 2009 drept cartea anului, autorul susținând o prezentare publică de mulțumire chiar în incinta Muzeului Freud.
De-a lungul celor 400 de pagini, cititorul este invitat să cunoască îndeaproape cele mai inime gânduri ale autorului, reușind în acest fel să cunoască în profunzime detaliile poveștilor de viață ce stau în spatele imaginii de om public.
Cu sinceritate, umor și empatie, Yalom se destăinuie cititorului, povestindu-i acestuia propria sa călătorie de viață, încununată cu bucurii, reușite, satisfacții, dar și îndoielile și regrete (una dintre acestea vizând relația sa mai deloc apropiată cu mama lui, pe care nu a apreciat-o la timpul potrivit și pe care a înțeles-o prea puțin, cea de-a doua făcând referire la timpul mult prea scurt petrecut în compania propriilor săi copii, patru la număr, pe care i-a cam neglijat în detrimentul succesului profesional și al pacienților săi, soția depunând cele mai mari eforturi în creșterea acestora, aceasta amânându-și propria carieră scriitoricească pentru a-și ajuta familia).
Cel mai mult am apreciat capitolele dedicate cărților sale, aflând astfel detalii surprinzătoare și interesante despre procesul de scriere, inspirațiile autorului și eforturile depuse în vederea realizării unor romane menite să trezească, să inspire și să educe publicul de pretutindeni.
În cartea de față am descoperit nenumăratele fațete ale apreciatului om de știință și scriitor, un Yalom plin de viață (chiar și la vârsta de 85 de ani), departe de a fi perfect însă extrem de sincer și asumat, un bărbat demn, dedicat pasiunilor sale – scrisul, medicina, educarea și ajutorarea semenilor săi -, extrem de modest, bine ancorat în realitate, dar și visător, prin prisma obiectelor sale de studiu și a plăcerilor de zi cu zi.
Este o adevărată lecție de viață, un (alt) cadou oferit de Yalom cititorilor și susținătorilor săi din întreaga lume, o lectură ce îndeamnă la introspecție, o carte care, pentru mine, s-a simțit de parcă aș fi făcut zilnic, preț de câteva ore, terapie cu celebrul scriitor. Și în încheiere, ca un gând rătăcitor, simt că, poate, prin intermediul acestei cărți care dezvăluie mult din el însuși, Yalom a făcut chiar el terapie cu noi, cititorii lui. Căci scrisul este unul dintre cele mai frumoase obiecte terapeutice din câte există pe pământ.
„Eram atras deopotrivă de psihiatrie și de literatură. Cea mai mare plăcere era să mă pierd în universul unui roman și-mi spuneam neîncetat că cea mai mare reușită în viață este să scrii un roman bun.”
Tonia
August 28, 2018
Ένας εξαιρετικός Γιάλομ για μια ακόμη φορά. Λίγο διαφορετικός από τα προηγούμενα βιβλία του καθώς το συγκεκριμένο είναι ένα καθαρά αυτοβιογραφικο βιβλίο με πιο περιορισμένες αναφορές σε περιστατικά του. Η ανάγνωση του βιβλίου κύλησε ευχάριστα εκτός απο τη μέση περίπου του βιβλίου που με κούρασε η συχνή αναφορά σε ομάδες και μεθόδους ψυχοθεραπείας. Ιδιαίτερο ενδιαφέρον παρουσιάζουν τα κεφαλαία που αναφέρονται στα βιβλία του καθώς δίνει λεπτομέρειες τόσο για το περιεχόμενο τους όσο και για το τι αποτέλεσε έμπνευση για να γράψει τα βιβλία αυτά. Τα κεφαλαία αυτά θα μπορούσαν να αποτελέσουν έναν οδηγό για κάποιον που θέλει να διαβάσει και αλλά βιβλία του συγγραφέα. Ο τρόπος με τον οποίο παρουσίαζεται η έννοια του θανάτου και της απώλειας καθώς και ο αισιόδοξος τρόπος με τον οποίο κλείνει το βιβλίο βοηθούν τον αναγνώστη να σκεφτεί και ενδεχομένως να αλλάξει τον τρόπο θεώρησης των πραγμάτων για το τι θεωρεί δεδομένο, σημαντικό και ασήμαντο στη ζωή του.
Deea
June 4, 2018
Yalom was the first that ignited my passion for philosophy. He is well-known worldwide as the “father of existential psychotherapy”. Every time I read his books I feel that I get to understand myself better and I find out that human nature hasn’t changed much from the ancient times (he always makes reference in his writings to the Greek philosophy and he uses it therapeutically). I was expecting him to be a very confident, strong person, but he is in fact very sensitive, having self-doubts and weaknesses like all of us. He reads a lot (still) and I was amazed to see that David Mitchell is among his favorite writers (he is very much in touch with contemporary literature, as much as he is versed in the classic one).
Displaying 1 - 30 of 663 reviews
More reviews and ratings
Join the discussion
22
1
Ask
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get help and learn more about the design.
Help center